i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
