The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
