Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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