when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
