Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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