I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
