Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
