your parents love me but you hate me
are you still at the devil's house?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize