I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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