she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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