You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
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I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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