get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
