I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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