Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
