I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
