i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Randomize
