We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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