so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
