apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
