Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
