You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
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This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
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I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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