So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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