They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize