Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
