I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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