piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
