My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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