You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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