We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
