so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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