i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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