i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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