Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
3 2 1 whiskey
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
