$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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