i barfeds in our rink
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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