i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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