i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
