I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
