During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
