Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
