Having a random hookup so left but love u
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
