Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
