So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
