I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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