I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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