Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize