So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
