Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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