i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she woke up with a sticky ear
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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