How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
