Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
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I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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