dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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