TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
