He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
