i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
