I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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