obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
