He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
