I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
