how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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