we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
