Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
