Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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