...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
