Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
